Jun 14, 2011

Questionable Advice

Getting engaged compels people to share lots of unsolicited marriage advice.  Sometimes, it can be really helpful, but in my case, it’s mostly been sort of odd. I figured I’d share some with you:

From Linda, the woman who owns the salon where I get haircuts:
“Wait, you’re engaged? But you’re so young! Are you old enough to drink? Look, I tell all the girls marriage is big- make sure you guys have more going on than the bedroom- his junk’s not going to work one day. You know that right? Be careful!”

I don’t know what about me made Linda think I was a barely legal slut marrying for sex, (the fact that I barely talk at haircuts? The professional outfits I show up in that clearly state I am a working professional?) but I rolled my eyes at that one. 

From my grandma, married around 50 years, although the marriage was of questionable quality, according to my dad:
“Fight him on everything!”

I think we can all agree this is the worst advice ever.

From Bob, my sort of morbid 72 year old cube mate at work. Bob advises me, unasked, on almost a daily basis:
“Get a prenup.”
“You should have a friendship first. That’s the most important.”
 “Figure out that religion thing NOW. In case you need to call off the wedding.”
“Don’t spend a lot on your dress. I got my daughter's for $100.”
 “You want to move to New York? That’s a waste of money. Don’t live there. Terrible idea.”
“Don’t have a TV in your bedroom- has an adverse impact on a marriage.”
“You clean the inside of the house, and he should take care of the outside. But you might have to change jobs sometimes.”
“Have you started saving for retirement? Start saving! I bet gas goes up to $11 soon.”

Bob definitely means well, and some of his advice is solid, it is just all so full of a glass-half-empty angle of it.

From Jess, a close friend at work who got married two years ago:
“Keep things a surprise still. If you’re getting ready to go somewhere together, get completely ready in the bathroom. Don’t let him see you with your hair half done, running around trying to scramble an outfit together.”

I’m pretty high maintenance so this works for me! It’s not a bad idea I think to have a little mystery, and this is one way to accomplish it.

Anyway, I don’t mind hearing advice from people, although sometimes I wish it was more useful!
Have any good (or really bad) pearls of wisdom been dropped on you guys?


  1. Haha, Bob! He sounds like a fun guy to work with.

    I get the "HOW old are you?" reaction from people, too. I try not to let it get to me, but I'm really tempted to tell them I'm sixteen just to see them squirm.

  2. I second the above. Someone at work, upon finding out about my engagement, asked how old I was. When I gave my age, she said, "Oh. I really thought you were 18". Um, hello?! I've been working here for 2 years. Which would have made me 16 when I started. I work in Child Protection. Therefore, had to have completed a 3 year university degree. Even if I started working there straight out of uni (which I didn't), and somehow miraculously completed my uni degree a bazillion times faster and earlier then everyone else... I'm sure that makes me more of a genius then I actually am...and still not 18. LOL

  3. LOL Bob sounds funny and like my cube neighbor at work too!

  4. A woman I work with tells me on a daily basis... 'don't do it!' I should mention she is happily married for the last 34 years. Her advice confuses me.

  5. lol Bob sounds like a riot! He had some good advice though. The only advice I ever got was, "Don't stop doing the cute little things you did while you were dating." I still leave him post-it notes when I leave in the morning and he's still sleep. He loves it so much.