Pre Cana Recap

One thing’s checked off the September to do list: Pre Cana! The diocese was kind enough to squeeze us in, and we got to participate at my home parish, in a Pre Cana led by the deacon who will be marrying us. All Pre Canas seem to be different, so I'll recap ours in case anyone is wondering about what happens. 

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Mr. B and I were not exactly looking forward to it, as there was a Michigan game on and we were hoping to watch it at a local bar. I didn’t expect Pre Cana to be horrible or anything, just thought I’d need to hold my eyelids open to keep from falling asleep.

Luckily, I was wrong. The day started with a decently entertaining version of the Newylwed Game, and then was divided into two parts. The first focused on marital communication and the second on sexuality and spirituality (actually less cringeworthy than it sounds). Both followed the same format, where a panel of facilitator couples (married from 15-40 years), discussed their experiences on topics like communication or newlywed adjustments. After the panel discussion, we broke into smaller groups, each led by a facilitator couple. They asked us questions about our relationships, like whether we’d discussed sharing holidays or how we expected our relationship to change over the years. It was actually pretty interesting to listen to the couples’ stories, and I definitely appreciated their candor. Personally, I love to hear about people’s experiences, and since my own parents tend to be a little reserved/closed off on these types of discussions, it was really nice to hear from the church couples.

I also really enjoyed the discussion on how the couples’ relationships with God changed over the years. Most of the women had been practicing Catholics their whole lives, but had husbands who were basically atheists or lapsed Catholics at the time of the wedding.  As part of an interfaith couple, it was very comforting to me to hear how these role model couples did, over time, find ways to God together.

In the interest of honesty I will admit there were some squirmy points (Natural Family Planning) and a few snooze worthy moments, but for the most part I found us surrounded by a very nice group of engaged couples, and a great group of married couples working with us. It was really a very positive experience, and definitely not the worst part of wedding planning so far!

Save the Date Poll

Alright, we're really trying to choose a save the date by the end of the week. But I need your opinions! 

Would you get something you absolutely love that's a bit more expensive, that matches your invite suite, as below:

 (Gilt Edge Card, customized at William Arthur)

Or something that uses your nice engagement photos, your fiance likes better, and is much cheaper? Like below:

(Wedding Paper Divas "Beautiful Band")

If it helps, we're talking like a $150ish difference. I do love the first option, and the difference isn't exactly bank breaking, so I'm questioning if it's dumb to obsess over the budget. But then again, $150 here and there it adds up- it could be tips for vendors, my hair, makeup for two bridesmaids, etc. Cause it's not like the save the dates are the only place where we can scrape a bit off the budget.

So which would you go with? Pricey but you love, or pretty good and less expensive?

In Case of a Wedding Disaster

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For those of us that live on the East coast, the post-Hurricane Irene news stories contained tons of tales of weddings ruined by the storm. We saw optimistic brides and grooms throwing it down anyway, despite cancellations by half the guests, heard of florists and caterers bailing at the last minute, and venues forced by the state to postpone all weddings. As a bride to be, I could only imagine the sky high stress, disappointment, and wasted money.

The whole thing made me realize we should have wedding insurance. It was in the back of my mind for a little while, but now I’m ready to get serious.  I'm not concerned about a hurricane, but I am aware that freak things do happen sometimes. My dress shop could suddenly close or my venue could go bankrupt a month before the wedding. Of course, if those happened, I’m screwed regardless, but at least if I had insurance I wouldn’t be screwed and out thousands of dollars. Call me crazy, but didn't a hurricane flooding Vermont seem crazy too?

Plus, I insure my car, my apartment and my engagement ring, and the wedding, while not a million dollars, isn't exactly a minimal investment either. So why would I not protect that too? At least, this is how I see it, but I’m not sure if I’m crazy, as I really very rarely hear about this despite all the time I spend on wedding sites. Mr. B doesn't think it's necessary, but he's much less of a worrier than I am!

Right now, I'm leaning towards a policy with WedSafe. They’re recommended by Suze Orman, they cover many scenarios (including change of heart, not that I would expect that!) and costs less than 1% of my total budget.

Before I buy though, I'm wondering if anyone has experience or advice with this. If so, please share your stories! And be honest: is it ridiculous to want?

The Lull Stops Now!

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I spent most of this summer putting wedding work on the backburner, but now Labor Day is over, signaling the end of summer, and with it, the end of my laziness. We're 9 months out, and it's time to get back to work.

I'm putting my goals for September on here in the hopes that it will somehow hold me accountable for the things I need to do. You have my full permission to harass me via comments if you don't see posts about this stuff at some point this month!

So, the September To Do List:

1. Call the church up about Pre Cana. Yes, they told you they will always make room for parish members, even if the Diocese says Pre Cana's full. But Pre Cana is 9/17, and you knew about this since last March, there's no excuse for forcing the church to accomodate you at the last minute.

2. Make a decision on save the dates!! Unfortunately this also means tackle the unpleasant guest list, since we need to know who to send them to.

3. Order STDs mid month, send end of month.

4. Start bridesmaid dress shopping. I made some plans with my cousin Katie to start looking, so hopefully I'll have some posts on that soon!

Four things, that's it! Surely I can accomplish these four things!!

Anyone else have some September goals set up?