It's probably safe to say that every single one of you in wedding world has run into some kind of tricky situation when deciding who to invite to your wedding.
My issue is an enormous guest list, courtesy of Mr. B's family.
Our venue requires a minimum of 225 people, so the wedding is going to be big no matter what, but the guest list just keeps growing. It frustrates me because I didn't want a huge wedding, and there is a large number of people invited that, to be honest, I just plain don't like. There's also a lot of people that fall into the "we haven't seen them in 15 years but they're our really close friends, we have to invite them" category. My thought process is, if I haven't met or heard of someone in six years of dating Mr. B and attending his numerous family parties, then they don't need to be invited to our wedding.
There's also the guest and kids issue. Everyone's kids "need" to be invited. Like the children of the future in-laws' family friends, whose names Mr. B cannot remember. For example: Mr. B's mom's friend from high school has an 18 year old daughter with a boyfriend, the boyfriend is invited too. (Someone else is following that that's FIVE degrees of separation that we're extending invites out to, right?) Mr. B's mom is conscious that the list is growing, but seems unwilling to make cuts. She seems very fearful of offending people, and even asked me if it would be okay if she told people my parents were paying and forced her to make cuts, that way she could blame them and no one would get mad at her. (My mom is an incredibly unselfish person, who has said nothing about the guest list, so it is most certainly not okay to throw her name around like that. At least blame me, not my mom!)
It's frustrating because the wedding is expensive and it's a lot of money to keep adding extra people, but Mr. B's family is paying for almost half of it. They're being extremely generous, so I don't want to be a bridezilla, but at the same time, I'm afraid I won't enjoy the reception because it will be filled with strangers or people I don't care for. I don't want to spend my whole time talking, I want to have a second to rock when ACDC hits the speakers. I feel guilty too because of course all of these people I'm complaining about are going to get us gifts, many have already gotten us beautiful, generous engagement gifts.
I know Mr. B's family thinks I'm a guest list Nazi, and I feel bad about that because they've really let me/us do whatever we want for the wedding. The money they're giving us for the wedding has come with no strings (just people) attached. And of course Mr. B and I aren't seeing eye to eye on this either, and I'm kind of fighting this battle alone, earning that Bridezilla title the whole way. They're supposed to be sending us their "final" guest list soon, so I'm just praying I'll be able to handle the situation with tact.
In the meantime, where's the line between being gracious, and standing my ground? Do I have anyone's permission to throw a temper tantrum and demand guest cuts?