When it comes to wedding planning, it seems like there are so many people that can be involved, from well-meaning friends, to relatives, to parents. Everyone’s experience seems to be different, some have completely overbearing parents, some do it all themselves. In my situation, Mr. B’s parents, and mine as well, have definitely seemed to be staying obviously hands-off, providing their input only when asked for. But lately I’ve been wondering if I should be including them more.
My concern was compounded when I saw this Dear Abby article:
DEAR ABBY: I'm the mother of four boys in their 20s. None of my sons is married yet, but because they are reaching the age where they might be soon, I have been paying attention to how weddings were planned and carried out by our friends' children - all of whom are married.
What's bothering me is, it seems to be all about the girl. The guys and their parents seem to be left out of almost everything. I assumed that in this day and age, where many wedding expenses are shared by both sets of parents, that the groom and his parents would be more involved.
The purpose of this letter is to remind parents of daughters that this is a big day for the groom and his parents, too. Please be considerate and include them in the planning decisions and pre-wedding activities.
- It's Our Big Day Too!
I know that I am a control freak with high standards who likes things my way. I love to wedding plan, and have truly felt so far that I can do it mostly on my own. I live with my parents, so I share most of my brainstorming with my mom. We sit on the couch, drink wine and go through wedding magazines, gossiping about styles and ideas. I know Mr. B’s mom is left out of the girly bonding element of planning. I don’t feel like I have the kind of relationship with her where I can just call her up to pointlessly talk about the wedding, and so beyond involving his family in the big decisions, like the venue hunt, I’m not sure how to improve the situation. I want to make sure I include them as best I can, but it is a little hard for me to let go of things.
Did anyone else try to include their fiance's family, or did you and your fiance handle the planning on your own?