Aug 31, 2011

Really Good Advice

 A while back I posted some questionable marriage advice I’d gotten from random people. Now I want to post the only useful advice I’ve gotten, courtesy of my dad (who has been married to my mom for 37 years).

(Photoshop skillz)

It sounds so simple, but I find it deceptively hard. I mean, don't we often automatically and subconsciously put ourselves first? Take our second week of living together: Mr. B had his last softball doubleheader of the year, and he planned to play. When I found that out, I freaked a little bit. I was nervous being home alone in a new place (I know, I know, grow a set) and offended that he'd want to play when he could be home watching me blowdry my hair and go to bed early.

We argued back and forth a little, he played, I stewed for a day or two, then we moved on. But if we were thinking about each other, not ourselves, I'd realize it was fun and important to him, and he'd realize I felt unsettled and just needed a little extra support. Maybe we could've compromised on him playing only one game: he'd get to play, and he'd be home before I fell asleep. It's maybe a silly example, but these are the kinds of little things that come up all the time, and I do think these little, everyday things are often what your relationship builds on.

Anyone else find this easier said than done sometimes?


  1. I think I am more of a push over than I would like to admit. I always say "whatever you want to ____" be it food, going out, watching tv. He's started to really make me choose something to do and that helps us a lot. I would say I wanted hamburger then say well whatever you want when he made a suggestion. I didn't really mind, but now I am finding I really DO mind. Communication is always evolving so just keep the lines open, if its really important don't be afraid to speak up. :)

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  3. It really is all about compromise. I have learned that tt can't always be my way or the highway..and also to pick your battles..that is good advice that someone gave me once too!